Thinking Yourself into -- and out of -- a Hole

No doubt most readers have experienced dead-ends when they were trying to solve tough problems in life. Even worse, there is that dreaded feeling that the more they think about the problem, the less good it is doing them.

Yes, it infuriates me how large and expensive vans and pickup trucks have become. Perhaps the best way to start is with a sense of humor.

Consider the more-or-less useless car reviews written at the big name websites (Edmund's, Car and Driver, Car Connection, etc.) When it comes to a specific model made by Corporation X, their reviews are bland and innocuous. How could they be otherwise? The reviewer is at the mercy of the corporation for a freebie car to test drive. Typically the corporation flies the reviewer to the assembly plant, puts them up at the airport Marriott, wines and dines them, gives them a tour of the automobile assembly plant, and perhaps an interview with a high-level executive.

Even if all of this didn't butter up the reviewer, the reviewer has to realize that a negative review will mean that, next year, a rival reviewer will be the first to get the new car. And the corporation might become an ex-advertiser with the reviewer's employer.

So does this conflict-of-interest make reading car reviews a waste of time? Not completely. Reviewers can get away with being candid about entire categories of vehicles. For instance they are having fun with the minivan-ization of the so-called crossover utility vehicles. These are the vehicles that have virtually replaced the heavy, gas-sucking, truck-based SUVs that every other suburban soccer mom drove between the early 1990s and the late 2000 Aughts.

We aren't talking about Toyota RAV4s and Subaru Foresters. We are talking about the Chevy Traverse (and its corporate twins), the Toyota Highlander, the redesigned Nissan Pathfinder (better called the "Mall-finder") and even the larger version of the new Hyundai Santa Fe. These are good vehicles, but they are also thinly-disguised minivans for 30-45-year-olds who don't want to look old, married, and stodgy.

I was hanging out at a bakery in Little Texas, CO, the other day, and watched one crossover "utility vehicle" after another roll in. I noticed that the side panels were stamped with a slight crease around the front and rear wheels. No matter how superficial this was, it still made the mommy-mobile look more "rugged" and "truck-like". This trick really works! It was funny. (Serious trucks and SUVs have flare-outs in the fenders around the wheel wells. It is supposed to make you think of muscular shoulders.)

And that is the right attitude to have. Laugh it off, while continuing to try to beat the system, no matter how restrictive and idiotic the modern vehicles have become. In fact I noticed something on somebody else's pickup truck that might come in quite handy for a guy like me. Next time...