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Thinking Yourself into -- and out of -- a Hole

No doubt most readers have experienced dead-ends when they were trying to solve tough problems in life. Even worse, there is that dreaded feeling that the more they think about the problem, the less good it is doing them.

Yes, it infuriates me how large and expensive vans and pickup trucks have become. Perhaps the best way to start is with a sense of humor.

Consider the more-or-less useless car reviews written at the big name websites (Edmund's, Car and Driver, Car Connection, etc.) When it comes to a specific model made by Corporation X, their reviews are bland and innocuous. How could they be otherwise? The reviewer is at the mercy of the corporation for a freebie car to test drive. Typically the corporation flies the reviewer to the assembly plant, puts them up at the airport Marriott, wines and dines them, gives them a tour of the automobile assembly plant, and perhaps an interview with a high-level executive.

Even if all of this didn't butter up the reviewer, the reviewer has to realize that a negative review will mean that, next year, a rival reviewer will be the first to get the new car. And the corporation might become an ex-advertiser with the reviewer's employer.

So does this conflict-of-interest make reading car reviews a waste of time? Not completely. Reviewers can get away with being candid about entire categories of vehicles. For instance they are having fun with the minivan-ization of the so-called crossover utility vehicles. These are the vehicles that have virtually replaced the heavy, gas-sucking, truck-based SUVs that every other suburban soccer mom drove between the early 1990s and the late 2000 Aughts.

We aren't talking about Toyota RAV4s and Subaru Foresters. We are talking about the Chevy Traverse (and its corporate twins), the Toyota Highlander, the redesigned Nissan Pathfinder (better called the "Mall-finder") and even the larger version of the new Hyundai Santa Fe. These are good vehicles, but they are also thinly-disguised minivans for 30-45-year-olds who don't want to look old, married, and stodgy.

I was hanging out at a bakery in Little Texas, CO, the other day, and watched one crossover "utility vehicle" after another roll in. I noticed that the side panels were stamped with a slight crease around the front and rear wheels. No matter how superficial this was, it still made the mommy-mobile look more "rugged" and "truck-like". This trick really works! It was funny. (Serious trucks and SUVs have flare-outs in the fenders around the wheel wells. It is supposed to make you think of muscular shoulders.)

And that is the right attitude to have. Laugh it off, while continuing to try to beat the system, no matter how restrictive and idiotic the modern vehicles have become. In fact I noticed something on somebody else's pickup truck that might come in quite handy for a guy like me. Next time...

Comments

I've used Consumers Reports for years when researching vehicles. They accept no advertising and buy all vehicles they test. Free at most public libraries.
Thanks Gopher. I haven't tried hard enough to get useful information from Consumer Reports. Perhaps the paywall scared me off. But like you say, older issues are still useful and they are free at the library. The few reviews of theirs I've seen turned me off; perhaps it seemed pseudo-scientific. But I shouldn't criticize without trying harder.
John V said…
For the past 25 years I've used CR for helping with buying decisions. Unfortunately, it won't be very good for the type of research you want to do and the type of vehicle you're looking for. I can help you out if you want to take a look at CR reviews on their website just for laughs. ;-)
Anonymous said…
If you are interested in something specific, many of the user forums can give good insights to problem areas in most manufacturers vehicles. I just bought a new truck this spring after about nine months of research into problems with each major component before I made a factory order.
Yes, there are some good tips on forums, but they are so diluted with useless stuff: jokes, emoticons, sidetracking, misspellings and abbreviations, and apples versus oranges comparisons. Much of the "information" is just hearsay by somebody who has no technical orientation to their mind, and who is trying to type on a smartphone. My brain hurts after reading forums.
I agree. Few reviews look at vehicles from my point of view (brutal utilitarianism, inside bicycle hauling, and decent towing.) But I would like to try Consumer Reports. (And shame on you for abbreviating.)

For instance, I'd like to see what they say about Toyota Tacoma versus Nissan Frontier.

Didn't Consumer Reports make a joke out of itself a couple years ago when they selected the Honda Ridgeline their "Truck of the Year?"
That's what everyone calls this town, and rightly so!
John V said…
No abbs allowed? LOL UR 2 :-). L8ter dude.
You guessed right: the new Ford van is overpriced and too large. Fuel economy is nothing to brag about. How could it be, considering it's a zeppelin on wheels?

I went to the Ford website (or maybe KBB.com) to look up the ground clearance, and it wasn't listed. I've been suspicious about shrinking ground clearance ever since I first heard the phrase "inspired by their European design." Screw European design -- it just means low ground clearance and city-slicker values.
IMHO ur last msg should have ended, "Typed on an iPhone."
The used Tacomas (and even Frontiers) are overpriced compared to the new ones, and you'd be surprised how rare it is for used pickups (even the 150 full sized trucks) to have factory-installed tow packages. I can't imagine a buyer skipping the $450 towing package. I guess they need to spend the extra dollars on premium cup holders, a leather steering wheel, or automatic electrical rotating sun visors.

You are being a precocious student who is getting ahead of the professor's lecture when you asked about pickup caps.
TomInBellaVista said…
hmmmph... no respect for the Ridgeline? It rides like a car, fairly responsive handling, roomy interior for 5, locking trunk to hold stuff out of sight, tow package included. Works for this suburbanite who infrequently uses the bed for firewood, used furniture purchases, tows my aliner, and hauls my two bikes in the bed. I thought CR got it about right. I bought one and don't regret.
Tom, well of course the Ridgeline rides like a car -- it IS a car! (grin)

Good to hear that it can pull your Aliner.

Can you put a cap on the back to protect those bicycles?
TomInBellaVista said…
There are caps available, but I've never checked them out to see if I would have clearance or not. I put my bikes in rear wheel first and fork mount, with the front wheels stored in the trunk. The tail gate swings open as well as down, and I barely have to reach in to load them. It's really pretty convenient, and I'm usually out for no more than a month at a time, so more protection isn't a big deal for me, as it would be for you. I think having the front wheels hidden away gives me just a tiny bit of security against theft or vandalism. Having bikes to haul was a main reason for getting a P-U, as I destroyed a bike rack carrying them on the rear of the trailer.