This isn't the first time I have helped somebody on their camper (RV, rig, etc.) But it is the biggest project in which I played mentor. I thought it would make it smoother to also be the 'student.'
It really is a fascinating challenge for me. Perhaps a parent would dismiss my use of the word 'fascinating' because I am just doing to another adult what he has been doing to his child for years!
Obviously I will not bore the reader with a blow-by-blow account of microscopic "practical" details. What is of interest is how all of this bears on the human condition.
1. Being helpful in the right way. A mentor sometimes accomplishes most of what they are ever going to accomplish by simply informing the student that something can be done. Sometimes it is enough to make them feel confident, without getting down 'into the weeds' of microscopic details. Furthermore the mentor must be careful not to foster dependency of the part of the student: help them get started right, avoid "land mines", avoid cutting a finger off, and then back off. I guess this is just restating the old proverb about 'teaching people how to fish, instead of handing them a fish.'
2. Imparting principles and not just practical skills. They must learn good habits at approaching problems with the right attitude: such as an appreciation of Murphy's Law, and how inexorable it is for projects to take longer than expected, and how insidious 'mission creep' is. They must not think like a grade schooler who is trying to do a perfect job and get an 'A'. Instead, they should always be weighing costs and benefits, and avoiding self-defeating perfectionism.
3. The Not-Invented-Here Syndrome. When the student reflexively opposes every suggestion of the mentor, the mentor owes it to himself to back away and leave the student alone. Male ego being what it is, when the student says he wants the mentor's advice, he isn't really saying what he means. What the student means is that he wants to come up with ideas, and then he wants the mentor to agree with them, so the student feels more secure. The student doesn't really want to hear anybody else's ideas, let alone the mentor's.
There are all kinds of personal quirks that come out when working on a project with somebody else. I become furious when more time is spent talking about something than actually doing it. Perhaps that reminds me of the 'games people play' at corporate meetings, or the frustration of working on a project with a woman!
It really is a fascinating challenge for me. Perhaps a parent would dismiss my use of the word 'fascinating' because I am just doing to another adult what he has been doing to his child for years!
Obviously I will not bore the reader with a blow-by-blow account of microscopic "practical" details. What is of interest is how all of this bears on the human condition.
1. Being helpful in the right way. A mentor sometimes accomplishes most of what they are ever going to accomplish by simply informing the student that something can be done. Sometimes it is enough to make them feel confident, without getting down 'into the weeds' of microscopic details. Furthermore the mentor must be careful not to foster dependency of the part of the student: help them get started right, avoid "land mines", avoid cutting a finger off, and then back off. I guess this is just restating the old proverb about 'teaching people how to fish, instead of handing them a fish.'
2. Imparting principles and not just practical skills. They must learn good habits at approaching problems with the right attitude: such as an appreciation of Murphy's Law, and how inexorable it is for projects to take longer than expected, and how insidious 'mission creep' is. They must not think like a grade schooler who is trying to do a perfect job and get an 'A'. Instead, they should always be weighing costs and benefits, and avoiding self-defeating perfectionism.
3. The Not-Invented-Here Syndrome. When the student reflexively opposes every suggestion of the mentor, the mentor owes it to himself to back away and leave the student alone. Male ego being what it is, when the student says he wants the mentor's advice, he isn't really saying what he means. What the student means is that he wants to come up with ideas, and then he wants the mentor to agree with them, so the student feels more secure. The student doesn't really want to hear anybody else's ideas, let alone the mentor's.
There are all kinds of personal quirks that come out when working on a project with somebody else. I become furious when more time is spent talking about something than actually doing it. Perhaps that reminds me of the 'games people play' at corporate meetings, or the frustration of working on a project with a woman!
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| from smallbusiness.chron.com |
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