A Brilliantly Successful Group Hike

Rumors are floating around that several RV bloggers were recently involved in an outdoorsy comedy-of-errors: a hike full of mistakes and misadventures. Oh sure it seemed like that at the time. But without any undue contrarianism or facetiousness, I'm here to tell you that it was a great success, and is worthy of emulation.

There is one bit of facetiousness that I would like to play with: instead of ridiculing the "Naturalistic Fallacy", I would like to pretend that I agree with it, that is, that everything "natural" is "good", and unnatural is bad.  I am going to argue that misadventure during an outing, whatever be the cause, brings on a more natural -- and better -- experience. 

Consider first how unnatural hiking is. What natural purpose does it serve? None that I can see.  Is this not ironic, considering the demographic and self-image of hikers? They see themselves as environmentally-correct nature lovers. They think that their sport is the "greenest" of all outdoors sports, despite the fact that half the sport is driving a motor vehicle to the trailhead. (Some outdoorsmen, like runners, walkers, and bicyclists are not guilty of that syndrome.)

Hikers are for the most part college-educated office workers from large metropolitan areas. It is beyond their imagination to see Nature as providing the sustenance for the animal species known as homo sapiens. It's OK if any other animal species makes an honest living off of Nature -- but not homo sapiens.

If, instead of purposeless and useless hiking, we were walking along with a bow and arrow or a spear, and killing something, that would be the perfect natural outdoors activity. Similarly if we were being chased by large predators. But ironically the stereotypical hiker is anti-gun and anti-hunting, and probably vegetarian to boot. If the homo sapiens hunter was being helped by a horse or a dog, they would see that as "ickie" because those animal species might leave poopies on the hiking trail. Apparently they believe that other animal species don't defecate.

The natural experience of a stereotypical hiker is actually quite sterile and phony. It consists of nothing but consuming visual entertainment. Ogling postcard scenery.
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Now then, let's see how this supposedly goofed-up hike was actually a success. "Mistakes" such as forgetting cellphones, not bringing GPS, forgetting to bring enough water, and splitting-up had a real benefit: they reminded us of how precious water is in the Southwest, and how everything revolves around this issue. 

Splitting up? That "mistake" reminded us how weak an individual specimen of homo sapiens is. The species has survived because of its sociability, communication skills, and adaptability. These were exactly the qualities that we were forced to practice when things went wrong. For pity sakes, Nature is about surviving hardship, rather than gamboling through the magic gumdrop mountains and rhapsodizing about pretty butterflies or silly wildflowers.

Consider how this comedy of errors forced us to confront the fundamental non-truths that have overtaken society the last 200 years. Consider that humorless, virginal, domestic-terrorist-praising, Yankee blockhead, Henry David Thoreau. His essay on "Walking" starts off thusly:

I wish to speak a word for Nature, for absolute freedom and wildness, as contrasted with a freedom and culture merely civil -- to regard man as an inhabitant, or a part and parcel of Nature, rather than a member of society.

Nice try, Hank, but you blew it. He is imagining homo sapiens as living in a state of complete solitude when he is in "harmony with nature." Clearly he was reading the same junk-anthropology books as that frog-eating blockhead, Jean Jacques Rousseau, who starts off his famous "Social Contract" with:

THE most ancient of all societies, and the only one that is natural, is the family.

Oh really? I guess tribal villages and hunting partners are unnatural? Did Rousseau not see that it was perfectly natural for one hunter to borrow a tool from another tribal member, and to submit to certain expectations because of this transaction.

Seriously folks, it is thought-provoking and profoundly satisfying to see walking outdoors as a real thing, a serious thing, rather than mere entertainment for a scenery tourist. It makes the natural experience more authentic.