Urban Dictionary dotcom defines a retro-grouch thusly:
Considering how many complications they are willing to add to the new vans to coax them into slightly better fuel economy, wouldn't it make more sense to just make them smaller, like the late Chevy Astro van? Ahh, but that would be 'turning the clock back', which would violate the "Whig Interpretation of History." They could also make pickup trucks the size of a Toyota Tacoma in the 1990s, but that ain't gonna happen neither.
That leaves a ghastly full-sized pickup truck for my next tow vehicle. Somebody I knew once said that "half of driving is parking." That memory came to mind recently as I sat in front of a coffee shop and watched these ludicrous vehicles trying to parallel park. And if the turning radius and sheer length of the silly things weren't bad enough, the sides of the cargo beds are so high that it takes a step ladder to reach in and pull something out.
Can somebody who used to work in the automotive industry think more clearly and choose a motor vehicle better than the general public? You'd think they would have an advantage. They should have the same mindset toward motor vehicles that, say, a middle-aged male gynecologist has towards women. But so far, this supposed advantage hasn't really paid off for me.
Gee I've got a lot to say about this topic. Hence I've been procrastinating, as we usually do when a project looks too big. So let's break it up into small pieces each day...
-nounOK I plead guilty. Nevertheless I defy you to find a better example of the absurd depravity of modern American culture than the pickup truck. I have never liked them, especially compared to vans, which are my preferred tow vehicle. Alas, vans are going through big changes these days to meet the fuel economy requirements. I am not eager to buy a used van that has become orphaned and obsolete. And really, their fuel economy does suck.
1. One who is skeptical of technological developments until their usefulness and reliability have been proven.
2. One who insists on minimalist equipment that may be user-serviced.
3. Sagacious but irritable expert.
Considering how many complications they are willing to add to the new vans to coax them into slightly better fuel economy, wouldn't it make more sense to just make them smaller, like the late Chevy Astro van? Ahh, but that would be 'turning the clock back', which would violate the "Whig Interpretation of History." They could also make pickup trucks the size of a Toyota Tacoma in the 1990s, but that ain't gonna happen neither.
That leaves a ghastly full-sized pickup truck for my next tow vehicle. Somebody I knew once said that "half of driving is parking." That memory came to mind recently as I sat in front of a coffee shop and watched these ludicrous vehicles trying to parallel park. And if the turning radius and sheer length of the silly things weren't bad enough, the sides of the cargo beds are so high that it takes a step ladder to reach in and pull something out.
Can somebody who used to work in the automotive industry think more clearly and choose a motor vehicle better than the general public? You'd think they would have an advantage. They should have the same mindset toward motor vehicles that, say, a middle-aged male gynecologist has towards women. But so far, this supposed advantage hasn't really paid off for me.
Gee I've got a lot to say about this topic. Hence I've been procrastinating, as we usually do when a project looks too big. So let's break it up into small pieces each day...
Comments
Box Canyon Mark
I don't like the aridity, heat, low altitude, and mosquitoes of the northern half of the West.
But I think I prefer to keep the tow vehicle uncomplicated and light, and take it off to a trailhead to go mountain biking or hiking, and get 20 mpg on the way there.
I wonder how easy it is to repair and buy parts for them in the small town rural West.
I'm trying to stay open-minded about converting a van, but I think I like the idea of converting a cargo trailer much more. Then the tow vehicle can remain "stock," and I can drop the trailer and head off to a trailhead to mountain bike or hike.
But SUVs tend to be ridiculously overpriced for the same reason that pickup trucks are. Also, they have windows all around. Oh, I hate windows. I want my darlings invisible.
I considered the RAM C/V Tradesman, which is basically a Dodge Caravan built in windowless form, with a transmission oil cooler, and a 3500 pound tow rating. But still, look at the front wheel drive and the low ground clearance!
Theoretically it could be reduced to two. But not a drop less than that. That would fit a capped pickup truck.
I prefer a 2010 model, a few thousand dollars less than a new model, with under 50,000 miles. Model year 2010 is when most brands installed traction control as standard equipment on low-trim-level pickups and vans. Four wheel drive is a rip-off.
Chris H
Ref aug 21 comment by spotted dog ranch , 9:53 am
Not sure my comments went through on the iPad ?
PLEASE DON'T DISPARAGE TUNDRA TRUCKS - if you have never owned one .......
After 5 years and 80,000 miles I can get 85-90% of my money back @ current Kelly blue book & Craig's list prices I paid $33k plus T&L ... I have had ZERO DEFECTS .....today private party sale is $29k & dealer is $34k
Tundra cost me so far $1,000 per year - best deal of my life so far !!!
Show me something better BEFORE - spotted dog trash talk tundra trucks. I can't believe he ever owned one - and is certainly in the DARK AS TO THE FACTS !!!
I believe what you said about Tundra (or at least Tacoma) resale prices. In fact they are so high I just ruled out a used Tacoma.
Either buy a new one or don't buy one at all.
Chris H
but I'm not naming any names...
The subject cannot be googled, so maybe we can start a new topic ?
I too have looked with some consternation at new pick-up trucks, and I just walk away. Back in 03, I bought a brand new Tundra. It was just that much smaller and different from the others on the market, and I had seen a few in Puerto Rico when we lived there. So I was intrigued.
When we moved to Europe in 08, I sold it to my nephew. He loves it. I miss it. NOW, the new Tundras have gotten as big an goofy looking as all the competition. What's with the big grill? Anyway, I'm far from deciding on what I want for a second vehicle, so we'll see.
I saw a couple VW pick-up trucks when we lived in Vienna. Great looking truck. Not marketed in North America though....
Maybe just a small electric pick-up for around town. That would work for me. What's taking Tesla Motors so long?
To say that those folks are somehow mindless wasteful slugs is kinda rude.
When the average american is living in well over 1000 square feet and consuming 100+ gallons of water, each, a day, I find it a lil bit pompous to be accused of wasteful pretension for driving a full size pickup to haul my 30', 280 square foot home, in which we average less than 15 gallons a day for two people and two dogs.
If living ALONE in a tiny space toots a person's whistle that's fine... but adjectives about OTHER peoples chosen way need to be juuuuust a tad less derogatory... when they're Lifestyle consumes no significantly greater space and material, and maybe even less, than the judgmental single person's...
It takes a certain minimum size and weight to safely pull a trailer. Period. Going less than that lacks the power to control that weight. I'm not talking 45 foot five slide mansions. I'm talking my mid roofed, thirty foot fivers, like mine, that houses two of us. A hell of a long way from wasteful ostentation.
Too big for you? say that. More than YOU need? say that. "They're stupid, wasteful, ostentatious fools consumed with materialism because they live in 140 square feet apiece and drive the vehicle capable of safely handling that size?" ... I don't think so.
Don't like it for you, that's fine... but ripping on people because they like something different than your way is... well, it is what it is.
It is circular reasoning to believe that pickup trucks are non-ludicrous just because they are necessary to pull a ludicrously-oversized trailer.
Comparing RVs to houses is a straw-man argument. Recreational VEHICLES are just that: vehicles. They are not portable houses.
Who has gotten to you? Did they drug your latte?
Jim
You said "customers are stupid" referring to those who purchase PU.
Above I explained to you it cost me $1,000 per year to drive my Tundra ? Best deal of my life......what brand new vehicle have you owned that had less then $1,000 deprecation per year over 5 years. I'm getting 85% of my original value back.
Every other vehicle that I or most others owned certainly lost 50% in the first 3-5 years.