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The Dog That Should Take Over the World

...and wouldn't you know that I didn't get a photo of her. My next camera is going to be smaller. Maybe high-resolution cameras on smartphones is the way to go. Anyway, her name is Emma, and she is a half-grown miniature labra-doodle, sired by a miniature poodle, and brought into this world by a Labrador Retriever mother. A good guess is that she will top out at 25-30 pounds.

A person can be a professional dog-lover and still have only weak respect for many dog-owners. For all I can see, most dog owners have little practical common sense about their dogs; they selected the dog based on its physical appearance more than anything.

How did the average metropolitan Indoorsman/couch-potato/cubicle rat ever get it into their head that they need an 80 pound Lab or an energetic hunting breed? Why do so few owners try to socialize their dogs, such as taking it to the dog park and getting it used to having fun with other dogs? Where did they get the idea that dogs are better than an electronic security alarm, and end up choosing a Rottweiler or German Shepherd? And when the hell is the world going to ban pit bulls!?

In the real world of the suburb (let alone the world of RVing) a small/medium, non-shedding, companion pooch is what most people should have. But husbands refuse to be seen walking a small dog because they don't think it looks manly enough -- they want a dog that would look good on the front cover of the Cabela's catalog. Apparently the husband can't admit that he only goes hunting with the boys two weekends per year, and last year he didn't even go once.

Emma has a poodle-coat that doesn't shed, but she doesn't get a La Cage aux Folles-looking haircut at the groomer; nor does she get her toe nails painted or pink ribbons tied around her ears; nor does she have a cropped tail -- why wouldn't anyone want to see a natural tail wagging away? She is the perfect dog for the vast majority of metropolitanized dog owners, and if there is any rationality in the world of dogs, she will become the Mother of what takes over the dog world.

Comments

We talk of getting a dog someday, and my vote will be cast for a Poncho (RIP). Non shedding, low maintenance (as in a bag of dog food lasts a month, thus small poop) and he occupied so little space. Also loved his disposition.... so friendly and outgoing. Yes, I will be caught walking a Poncho type dog someday, thanks to you and him.
Box Canyon Mark
Consider how perfectly a dog would fit in with your ambulatory lifestyle. Actually it would glow -- it would be in the top 0.01% of the bell-shaped curve. And stop stalling.
Anonymous said…
The Labradoodle or similar Golden Doodle seem like excellent pet choices, to me. Had I not gone with another cat after my Maine Coon died, I might have gotten one.

"And when the hell is the world going to ban pit bulls!?"

Ah, you finally came out and wrote it. You'll be hated. Let's share the anger-aggregation: I agree, sterilize the breed and let them die off. Also, only allow licensed breeding of assault dogs such as German Shepherds, for the sole use of those that actually need guard-type dogs (military, police, etc.).

-- Ted, who was nearly killed by his family's pet German Shepherd and still has the dents in his skull to show for it. Had it been a pet Pitt Bull, he'd have be dead at 8 years old.
Well, let me jump back in here. As a life long jogger, nobody fears pit bulls and similar protective dogs as much as I do. But most of the blame is on the owners, some of whom are blind to pouchy poo..."he's never bitten anyone before." If you are going to have a protective type breed of dog, you must take the responsibility of keeping them restrained/secured. I have never sued anyone in my life, but I have always maintained that if a dog attacks me while I am jogging down a public street...I will own the dog's owners house, car, and bank account. Is it worth the risk to have such a dog?
Box Canyon Mark
Anonymous said…
Just to add a few statistics:
The breeds that the CDC considers highest risk are pit bulls, Rottweilers, German shepherds, huskies, Alaskan malamutes, Doberman pinschers, chows, Great Danes, St. Bernards and Akitas.
As of May 25, 2013, the USA death count from dogs in 2013 is 14. Of these, 13 people were killed by pit bulls. In recent years, the dogs responsible for the bulk of the homicides are pit bulls and Rottweilers.
The median age of patients bitten was 15 years, with children, especially boys aged 5 to 9 years, having the highest incidence rate.
The odds that a bite victim will be a child are 3.2 to 1. (CDC.)
Children seen in emergency departments were more likely than older persons to be bitten on the face, neck, and head. 77% of injuries to children under 10 years old are facial.
Severe injuries occur almost exclusively in children less than 10 years of age.
The majority of dog attacks (61%) happen at home or in a familiar place.
The vast majority of biting dogs (77%) belong to the victim's family or a friend.
When a child less than 4 years old is the victim, the family dog was the attacker half the time (47%), and the attack almost always happened in the family home (90%).
(from dogbites.org)

It is ultimately the owner's fault, but the breed is the major factor especially with homicides. Most biters are family dogs, one's own or a friend's. Friendly pooches, not abused,and they snap for some reason, as happened to me.
edlfrey said…
"And when the hell is the world going to ban pit bulls!?"

The UK has done so and my American Staffordshire would be included in that ban. Patches may turn on me any day now and kill me but that is simply a chance I will take. Since I do virtually nothing exciting in my old age an adrenaline rush is provided by my dangerous dog companion. Sort of keeps me going until such time that she kills me!
Oh heavens, Ed, nothing was aimed at individual dogs by a general statement. If "bulls" didn't exist, you would have adopted some other breed at the animal shelter, and you would love her just as much as Patches.
Unknown said…
Never been a dog person. Always wondered why. Still do. Perhaps it is a series of experiences.

My dad had trained a border collie cross for farm chores. Mostly that was to get the cows at milking time. When the dog was run over by a car, Dad was devastated and never had another dog. Eventually, the farm "inherited" a useless mutt that just became a fixture around the place.

When a driving teenager, I had gone to a neighbor to buy eggs. The farm dog came running up to me and clamped its jaws around my ankle. Scraped without breaking the skin. Not sure if I got eggs. Don't remember that part.

When my daughter was about six or seven, she was bit in the face by a neighbor's dog. Supports the stats quoted by Ted.

When my children were about ten and the votes were in, I lost the battle three to one about a family dog. Okay. How about one that doesn't shed. Ended up with a schnauzer and I became the dog's favorite person. Why. Because I was up early to let her out for her morning duties in the acre lot we lived on. At least I didn't have to take the dog for a walk.

As a long time hiker, I've encountered many dogs along the trails. Whenever a loose dog starts toward me, I stop and wait. That stopping will result in the owner stating the mantra that "he/she [the dog] was friendly and wouldn't hurt anyone." My response is "that is what everyone says about their dog."

Regarding dogs and experiences. When talking to a road acquaintance I see every summer, I had commented that I hadn't seen him walking his dog. He said that due to the dog's illness he had to put her down earlier this year. Will he have another dog. Nope. Dog's were part of his deceased wife's life. Not his. Being the good guy he was, he became the dog's walker -- and the dog's best friend.
If I were to post about a possible new motor vehicle or rig, would I be rewarded with comments about how a car you once owned had to go to the junkyard, and you were so upset about it that you never owned another motor vehicle?

Or would the comments be less about which new truck or van is best, and more about how somebody you once knew was once upon a time in an automobile accident. And therefore, cars shouldn't be allowed to go more than 5 mph.


Tesaje said…
My smooth Collie - old farm collie type - has the best coat I've ever seen on a dog. She self cleans - dirt just falls off and only a little shedding in the spring. Yet it keeps her as warm as can be in winter and sheds water. She's a bit big but I wanted a dog with enuf presence to make any criminals think to attack an easier target but nice enuf to be easy to live with. She's turning out to be the perfect dog for me. With near constant training since 5 months old.

Many dog bites occur because people fail to read the dog correctly. Dogs don't really lie and just about always signal that they are in a dangerous state of mind. But people fail to learn to read them correctly and approach in the the most threatening manner that aggravates the dog's violence. What is friendly to a human is threatening to a dog unless the dog is taught that it is not a threat. Small children with a high prey drive dog are a very bad combination for obvious reasons. If you think the bully breeds you cited are bad, what is much worse is the fad of breeding wolf or coyote-dog crosses. UN-domesticating the dog for a pet is a really, really bad idea.
Jim and Gayle said…
As long as that dog owner has insurance he/she won't care. Then again there is that not so rare lunatic living in a tent in the woods. Boonie, now before you say anything you aren't in a tent.