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Old Men Talking Their Victims to Death, in Quartzsite

A commenter pointed out that another category was needed for the list in the previous post: the One-Upper. I invite you to read his comment in the previous post.

And I overlooked the most ubiquitous of all conversational rogues: the Interrupter. At least these people are pretty easy to forgive. They are a bit like a dog who barks when nervous, but not at other times. Let the Interrupter calm down after a minute, or let them see the look on the face of their victim, and they will soon correct themselves.

There is a marvelous bit of acting by John Goodman in the Coen Brothers' "Barton Fink", showing him to be the victim of an over-eager, know-it-all, intellectual playwright, who won't listen to the John Goodman character tell his story.

But I'll bet you too have run into Interrupters who don't calm down and back off, but rather, keep interrupting forever. I simply don't know how to explain that. Are they insisting on being the dominant one? Their problem is quite serious.
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To continue with the previous post, let's consider item #1 on the list: the garrulous old man who is constantly telling his long-winded stories.

The other day I went into Quartzsite for an errand. The old fellow came out to help me. I became nervous after looking at him for 2 seconds. (But imagine how often that alarm sounds in the minds of shopkeepers when they see a certain demographic of customer walk in, at this time of year.) Why did his body language or facial expression produce such dread? At any rate, I knew I was in for the treatment. The question was, how to sneak away without being too brusque.

He turned out to be not too bad. He actually paused in his soliloquy and let me ask a question or two. Therefore, to a therapist who works with this type of dysfunction, he is a soft-core patient who is merely in the early stages of the disease that good ol' Benjamin Franklin admitted to, as he sat down to write his "Autobiography":
By my rambling digressions I perceive myself to be grown old. I us'd to write more methodically... 'Tis perhaps only negligence.
The shame of it was that he was talking about a topic that was potentially important to me, and if handled right, could have saved me a great deal of worry and expense. (The story was about his dog getting bit by a rattlesnake.)

There are more talkative old men than him in Quartzsite at this time of year. Consider the bright side of this situation: they could operate as rampaging feral gangs, brutalizing their victims one after another, and in unspeakable ways. But in fact they normally operate as lone predators.

It's strange.  When I was a boy, (uh-oh...) both grandfathers' stories amused me. I can't remember them being long-winded. There really are benefits to old men telling stories if they are brief. Doesn't a world traveler have examples that could second the point that the other person was making? How about anecdotes that start out similar to the anecdote just told by the other person, but which end in the opposite direction? An old man has experienced profound changes by being a 'time traveler'. He can help his younger conversationalist escape the tyranny of the Here and the Now.

There is so much to be gained if only the old man would stop thinking about his own pleasure in talking, and think about the other person.

Of course, one must be patient with society if you expect much improvement in this department. Until then, other methods might be used. Why can't someone develop a chemical spray and a handy belt holster, analogous to bear repellent, so that when you see a garrulous geezer coming, you can blast him and keep yourself safe? It might be a best-seller at the Big Tent. 

Comments

I never thought about martial arts! People probably thinking we are beating up on nice old gentlemen who are a bit too gabby, but we are talking about the bad ones who don't give a damn about anybody but themselves.
John V said…
I'll take a conversation with a geezer over a conversation with a millenial anytime!