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The Quixotic Quest of Replacing a Zipper

It has happened to most people, several times. You buy a fine jacket and then the plastic zipper craps-off two years later. In the past, "wardrobe malfunction" in the zipper department has followed washing/drying the jacket. Is overheating in the dryer to blame? Maybe I should machine wash the jacket, followed by "gentle" heat, or air-drying since temperature controls at public lavamaticas seldom work.  Please don't tell me that a jacket (with a zipper) needs to dry-cleaned.

This wouldn't be such a big problem if you lived in one town all year. Eventually you would find somebody. But when you are traveling, it is a much bigger problem. It is infuriating to think that the world wants you to scrap such an expensive jacket just because a couple cubic millimeters of YKK Delrin plastic has gotten dinged.

It happened again, just a few days ago. It wasn't as infuriating as the previous time: after making an excellent winter parka last for 20 years, I had finally replaced it with an even better winter parka that had taken weeks to find on the internet. Nobody makes a men's parka that covers your tush. Why would anybody want to walk around with a cold tush in the winter? It finally dawned on me that nobody does walk around; they drive. Parkas are kept short so they don't bunch up when you sit in your motor vehicle.

But eventually I did find a semi-long, well-made winter parka. One day I was out walking on a cold, windy, winter day when the zipper croaked. One failure to get it fixed led to another failure. (Remember that I was walking from place to place, in the cold, with an unzipped jacket.) I was ready to pop with frustration and anger. This forced me to bust out in a different direction: beating the System on this wardrobe malfunction was my Noble Cause for the day. I was going to beat it, even if I had to walk to every possible place in town, and even if I half froze to death. 

'Noble' is not meant facetiously. Think of what is at stake here -- think of what this represents.

CHAPTER VIII. OF THE GOOD FORTUNE WHICH THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE HAD IN THE TERRIBLE AND UNDREAMT-OF ADVENTURE OF THE WINDMILLS, WITH OTHER OCCURRENCES WORTHY TO BE FITLY RECORDED 
At this point they came in sight of thirty or forty windmills that there are on the plain, and as soon as Don Quixote saw them he said to his squire [...], "this is righteous warfare, and it is God's good service to sweep so evil a breed from off the face of the earth." 

"What giants?" said Sancho Panza.

"It is easy to see," replied Don Quixote, "that thou art not used to this business of adventures; those are giants; and if thou art afraid, away with thee out of this and betake thyself to prayer while I engage them in fierce and unequal combat." 

So saying, he gave the spur to his steed Rocinante, heedless of the cries... (As usual download this for free from Gutenberg.org.)
The mundane, prosaic, and literal-minded Sancho had a lot in common with middle-class retirees -- the kind of timid retiree or traveler who haunts travel blogs or discussion forums, and looks for "practical" tips. Actually this means looking for "constant assurance" that it's OK to be the slightest bit unconventional or rebellious of a lifestyle of phony pragmatism, busyness, and mass consumption.  At the very least they should stop thinking like Sancho, and be more like Don Quixote.
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Fixing a zipper is symbolic of how difficult it is to find freedom in an increasingly unfree world. Largely your escape from the Grind consists of lowering your "overhead."  This requires an economy with lots of options for the freedom-seeker to exercise his ingenuity and rationality, albeit with the motivation of sheer stubborn pride.


But America is becoming a country in which what isn't mandatory, is forbidden. There is an unstoppable, downward ratcheting of options and choices. The costs of unavoidable necessities are run up to the moon by government-caused inflation and requirements.

But the good news is that I did find a place to repair the latest zipper problem, in a small mountain city where success was doubtful. They thought that excessive heat in the dryer is the most common cause of zipper malfunction. The store owner was quite old. A sign in the window said that it was for sale. 



Comments

edlfrey said…
Your power line photo is a postcard picture, where was it taken I want to put it on my 'bucket list'. HA HA
Seriously, I do like it!
XXXXX said…
Had to research when the zipper was invented. Surprised to learn it was invented around 1850 and then perfected afterwards. How did people close their outer garments before this in cold bitter climates?
When people relied on only their own two hands, everything must have been very simple and what we call today make-shift. You just solved the problem with what you had on hand, the best you could.
We pay a price for all the many conveniences we have and totally take for granted. That price is dependency because we can't be an expert in everything.
I can see the windmill analogy but I don't think the enemy is what society has become but how any one individual allows themselves to become dependent. I'm including in this all the many folks who are so socially conscious of their looks and status that they are owned by it and driven by it, consumed by it, and victimized.....but it was their choice.
Every once in a while I come across someone's blog who runs into a person who doesn't have the internet nor much of anything else either. Very little money as well so would have to think twice, and then a third time, every time a purchase was made. Do I really need this or can I do without?
It's surprising sometimes to really realize what we can do without.
A zipper is one of those things.
You did have another option you know. It is possible to buy a zipper, needle, a thimble and some good strong thread and do the job yourself.
Wouldn't be a professional job but just as durable.
Ed, I will email you the location. We never divulge exact locations of anything on this blog!

George, "invented" doesn't really count for much. When and where was the zipper first used for a mass-produced article of some kind?

It takes me 20 minutes to sew on a simple button, and that is after procrastinating for a couple months.

You're right about hearing of people who get by on nothing. It adds perspective and sanity to owning all our "necessities."

Yes, it's the individual's own fault for becoming dependent. But I think you can only get so far by focusing on a subtractive approach. That is why I enjoy visualizing the spurning of material clutter as a valiant thing that we must "sink spur" to.
gypsycowboy said…
material clutter and material necessity... the line is not sharp and clear or the selection process would be easy.

There's Need for the body, and then Need for the spirit. Those "spiritual" needs are often painted as frivolous.

I contend that feeding the spirit is as important if not MORE so than feeding the body at times.
edlfrey said…
George,
Before zippers there were buttons which were used from around the 13th century when button holes were invented. Before buttons - pins, leather lacing and belts used to secure clothing or the garment was a pull-over. Now Velcro is sometimes used rather than zippers.

Jim and Gayle said…
Boonie, only you could do an entire blog post about a broken zipper! We can relate, though, as Jim had a broken jacket zipper we were unable to fix, found a seamstress near Woodland Park, CO (actually went to her house) who put in a new one, but it never did work properly after that. Another one of those lost arts, I suppose.
Jim and Gayle said…
Inflation?

http://www.usinflationcalculator.com/inflation/historical-inflation-rates/

Jim
I once took an expensive bicycle jacket to a woman (in Spokane) who wasn't the usual seamstress, doing work on wedding dresses, etc. She ONLY worked on expensive outdoor parkas, etc. The North Face and outfitters like that sent her warranty work.

It was fascinating talking to her about her racket. I must have used up a half-hour of her time, just asking questions.
I agree with the gist of what you're saying, but would be happier if you found a different/better word than spiritual. I'm not sure what SINGLE word would be best.
Tesaje said…
Buttons and laces. Laces date back to the paleolithic. Putting in a zipper correctly takes some real skill - from an old seamstress. So doing it oneself is not necessarily an option. Doing it wrong usually means it doesn't work very well.
Anonymous said…
The basic lesson is never buy a winter coat that doesn't have two methods of closure. All of my jackets have a zipper and snaps, when the zipper fails as least you can keep it closed until you can repair/replace it. As I live in Alberta, walking/working in an open jacket is not an option.