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A Twinkies Bailout Coming?

You can easily imagine president Obama taking a few days off, maybe even a vacation, after a hard-fought reelection campaign. That's not to say that the next four years don't look frightening enough; in fact, "winning" the White House in 2012 might ironically turn out to be a curse for his party, or for the other one if it had won. But still, shouldn't he be able to act like a human being and soak it up for awhile?

Alas, political life can be cruel. His post-election Era of Good Feeling is already cut short by the crisis at hand. I'm not referring to the General Petraeus scandal or the Israeli invasion of Gaza. Those are just sideshows. I'm referring to the liquidation of Hostess Brands, the makers of Ho Ho's, Ding Dongs, and Twinkies.

Although it's good to see that a crisis of this gravity is being given proper attention by the business media, nobody is yet discussing the necessity of a bailout. (Perhaps in a day or two, we'll see pro-bailout editorials by Paul Krugman and Robert Reich.) It must be quite a moral quandary to good liberals about the proper course of action. On the one hand there are thousands of union jobs at stake. But surely they wouldn't want to help the purveyors of some of America's worst junk food -- what would Mayor Bloomberg say!

The current occupant of the Oval Office must also look past the current crisis; he must look to the future of his party and to his own legacy. Micromanagement of food is the next place for a huge expansion in federal regulatory powers, assuming that carbon taxes are blocked by the Republican-led House of Representatives. After all, look at how much junk food costs "our" national health care system. Mayor Bloomberg's New York is already leading the way. And the number of government sector union jobs at stake could dwarf the few thousand jobs lost at a mere private-sector union. All progressive thinkers accept the fact that government sector unions are the Present and Future of the Democratic party. As for private sector unions, well, the days of John L. Lewis and Walter Reuther are long over.

And that's the president's challenge. It takes a true statesman and a visionary to avoid the small issues of the crisis du jour, and to march boldly into the mega-trends of the Future. Besides, even though Hostess Brands, proper, is a goner, pieces of it can be gathered up, salvaged, and repackaged in some new financial entity. Twinkies might still be sneaked in to public schools, literally in a brown paper bag, and eaten in the school lunch room -- at least if teacher or surveillance camera supervision is lax. Perhaps Bain Capital will help in the restructuring.

Comments

Ed said…
You josh when you say Bain Capital may help in the restructuring. The union, which only represented 30% of the 18,000 employees, is blaming the liquidation on two hedge funds a la Bain Capital.
The union missed their time to approach President Obama for him to intervene. The bankruptcy court had already ruled that the union should take an 8% cut. If the President could have been involved before the court, like he was with the auto industry, then the union would have been rewarded.
You have good arguments with regard to Bloomburg but what would his family life be like if he saved the company? Michelle would have a hissy fit!
Sondra said…
They will probably move south and start up under a new name after reorganizing.
TomInBellaVista said…
...and the French are contemplating a Nutella tax. Important news from Europe.
XXXXX said…
It is amazing how a company that produces nothing but junk food is held in such revere. I think the ultimate is the deep-fried twinkie.
I took your piece to be a spoof on the whole political system. But it seems others are taking it completely seriously so I don't know what to conclude. As a spoof, I think it picks up on Camus' philosophy of the absurd and it seems to hit the nail on the head. Please clarify.
I find it very helpful to look at such matters through Camus' eyes rather than get caught up in the tangle.
George, yes of course it was a spoof. It hurts too much to take politics seriously.

Ed, good point about how Mrs. O would respond to a Twinkies bailout.