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The Exercise Partner Syndrome

I make no secret of having little faith in building a loose RV camping caravan/community on the basis of idealism, platitudes, hippie-dippie cultural values, or group therapy while sitting in chairs. Talk is cheap. For me what matters is common activities in the outdoors -- activities that really matter to people -- and then acknowledging that these outdoor interests are more fun when sharing them with other people.

It is a great challenge to do this within an RV milieu because of mainstream RV culture's fanatical negativity towards using the human body for anything other than operating a motor vehicle or waddling down to the next potluck. And most of them are too old, too fat, completely out-of-shape, and have health problems. 


I have an ex-RVer friend who now lives in Tucson, which has a huge hiking club. He has had many hours of enjoyment with them. He had little opportunity for the same success with RVers, and that's one reason why he abandoned RVing. Apparently he made a good decision, at least for him.

But once I asked him whether most of the other hikers in the club were mere acquaintances and exercise partners rather than real friends. He sighed and admitted that most were just exercise partners.

Over the years I have been involved (at the level of many hundreds of hours of cycling) with a dozen road bicycle clubs. I did manage to beat the Exercise Partner Syndrome by becoming friends with several unique and admirable people. Several times they revealed their frustration with the Exercise Partner Syndrome.

The limiting case of that was a woman who was very outgoing and had many friends in church, political causes, and book clubs. But she finally gave up on the bicycle club because she didn't make friends there. That was a poignant moment for me.

Alas, they were tied to a specific town, job, and house, while I was footloose and fancy free, so the friendship died when the lousy camping and the overpopulation caused me to abandon ship.  



The first couple years of RVing I tried the bicycling/hiking club angle again, this time in a (birds-of-a-feather) sub-group of the Escapees. Instead of just having a newsletter, providing information to each other, and being pen-pals, I organized gatherings in which we camped together and then went off on outings. There was a small positive response to these gatherings, and with more persistence it might have grown into something permanent and significant.

Besides safety, one of the reasons why I'd like to camp with a group of (non-motorized) outdoors-activity-buffs is to negotiate Aging better. None of us knows how long or short the genetic straw is that we drew from our parents. When a setback occurs, are we going to just give up, or will we roll with the punches?

Consider all the runners who have ripped their knees up, switched to cycling, and went on to a rewarding second "career." There must be other such possibilities. Maybe my good luck with health with run out a year from now and I'll have to abandon cycling. Wouldn't it be great if there was a fly fisherman or rock collector or bird photographer in the camping group who infected me with enthusiasm for his activity.

Conversely I do a lot of things right when mountain biking. Given half a chance I could infect a hiker with the advantages of mountain biking, especially in summer, or on flatter land, which of course is easier to boondock on.  Many people don't even know how easy it is to bring a dog along on their outings.


Above all else many people have not had a chance to share outdoor activities with other people who are indifferent to equipment and who aren't obsessed with How far? and How fast? They need exposure to outdoor epicures and hedonists.

Comments

Tesaje said…
In any venue, real friends are hard to come by, whether it be at work or in avocations. Just having a mutual interest and activity doesn't mean you are going to be real friends. I've thought about this and why friends we made when young seem so much more of a friend. I think when young, we are more open to others and more impressionable as that is the time of life when we are exploring who it is we are. The friends we make at that time help to shape who it is we become. There is something to becoming set in your ways. Then again, there is something to that old saw, if you want a real friend, get a dog.
Anonymous said…
Recently started following you from another RV Blog that I follow and do like the concept and community that you are trying to create.
I cannot wait to start RV'ing full time unfortunately I am still 5 years away from that dream.
The one common theme that I have discovered from the dozen or so RV blogs that I follow is the lack of exercise and physical fitness that many of these people have.
I have always been an exercise freak and have plans on how to keep in shape while living this lifestyle. In fact concepts that I think would be useful for other RV'ers that wish to do the same thing.
I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor and look forward to reading its success in future postings.
G
Anonymous said…
Tesaje makes some interesting observations. I wonder though if it is because we are more impressionable that friendships made when young seem more like real friendships, as you say.
Personally, I think I believed a whole lot more in the inate goodness of human nature and so projected a trust onto others which didn't necessarily stand up to the experience of the friendship.
It is true that we negotiate a whole lot better (honestly) as we get older. I guess for most of us this is inevitable but it surely takes something away.
I agree that it's perhaps best to just get a dog.
Good luck, Boonie, in finding more boondocking folk who like to spend their day in outdoor exercise instead of potlucking. I have to admit that RVing held some appeal for me until I started reading your blog. Thanks for your honesty.
George
George, "RVing held some appeal for me until I started reading your blog."

My goodness, that isn't the effect I wanted to have. You must remember that most of what you read about RVing is promotionalism and escapism. But it isn't lies.

I have a technical background and have no use for salesmanship. That might make my opinions sting a little, but they were meant to challenge you, not discourage you.
Sondra said…
I agree, I look forward to spending time traveling and exploring...(I do that now when work allows) I certainly dont see myself sitting around endlessly chatting or cooking with others...I Want to REALLY experience freedom not waste it sitting around in the shade. AND although its fun to share with like minded if there are none available, go it alone I guess...I'd still rather be hiking, biking, photographing and exploring alone if need be rather than sitting in the shade with someone who doesnt want to move.
Anonymous said…
I would call promotionalism and escapism lies. Just different aspects of salesmanship.
Technical is a good word to use to contrast the above. Teasing out the nitty gritty and leaving the allure of idealism and romanticism behind. Idealism and romanticism can never stand up to dissection. The foolishness which is at their heart is soon exposed.
As for your comment to me, certainly you have challenged your audience to look beyond appearances, to examine deeper and to tease out various underlying aspects of situations. That is always a good thing, in my opinion. What I have learned though is that one cannot control the conclusion that the other person will draw. You must take that chance.
I do believe that I held an illusion about the kind of people who would RV. It is a common human fallacy to hold illusions. One can be highly active and live in a regular house, of course. So I meant my comment as a compliment.
George
Tesaje, using a dog as my biking/hiking partner is exactly how I adapted to the indoorsy/suburban ethos of other RVers. But I'm still not pleased with this as a solution.

Sondra, love your blog. I certainly am willing to go on outings alone, as you mentioned. Actually, "alone" means with canine companions instead of human companions.

My attitude toward other RVers is one of hope, not expectations. Disappointed expectations simply sting too much.
Tesaje said…
Why should the majority of RV'ers be any different than the majority of people at large? The athletic adventurous are a minority. I can't see having the huge trailer you sport along with its limitations as I am very happy with my Class B. I think those that like the surburban aspects and the potluck gatherings tend to flock together - just as they don in the suburbs. I look at most RV parks and just drive on by. I'd rather boondock in a Walmart parking lot than pay a high price for a little electricity and sandwiched in like a sardine. If you abhor the crowds and go the other way, it is by definition harder to find like minded people as they also are running away from the crowds. Then again, in middle age, the desire for athletic activity is tempered by injuries (rats!). When in college, it was much easier to find the like minded because we all had the common meeting place. Even freedom has its price. If you could take a random sample of RVer lifestyles and compare them to non-RVer lifestyles, I bet the truly athletic would be similarly a small proportion. Or eschew an RV and rough it more. When I was young, I laughed at the big RVs while I was happy with just a tarp and a bike. The van seems like a huge luxury to me but I can brings the pets I am responsible for. If given a choice between the dog and non-compatible people, I'll happily take the dog every time. But it is better with compatible people - if you can find them.
bayrider said…
Perhaps you need to start with your preferred activity and then proceed to find like minded folks that are inclined to RV/boondock from within that group.

Windsurfing and kiteboarding is a great example. San Francisco Bay area is prime habitat for these sports and a very large number of the locals acquire vans, trailers, RVs of every sort and dedicate all their free time to the sport. Full timers migrate with the seasonal winds from the West Coast to the Sacramento River Delta to Baja to the Columbia River Gorge, Padre Island etc. There are many reservoirs and lake areas that are good for learning. As you travel around the various sites you will run into the regulars again and again over the years and take up where you left off.

These people share an enthusiasm for life expressed in physical action sports, typically being avid bicyclists, skiers, snowboarders and skateboarders as well. They are a varied group professionally that generally share an independent and resourceful streak and are always welcoming to newbies. We have impromptu potlucks all the time after a day's sailing with copious quantities of alcohol and other substances, no one walks away disappointed.

The amazing thing is that kiteboarding is fairly easy to learn if you get good instruction and show a little determination. I met an 80 yr old woman last summer (fulltime RVer) that was quite good. I was boondocked on Sherman Island in the Sacramento River Delta (and dogs can even run free in the park!), reunited with a number of friends I hadn't seen in a decade, we're all around 60 but still going strong. I also met and hung out with a good many twentysomethings and we enjoyed each other's company, that is a rare thing indeed. These sports just attract an elite element of people, kindred spirits ambitious in their pursuit of a high energy, high satisfaction lifestyle. In a word, they are stoked!
Tesaje and Bayrider, you both mentioned location as a means of selecting like-minded people. That is a good point for weekenders or certain sports like rock climbing or wind-dependent sports. I don't want to say anything against those, but my sports and full-time RV status put me in a different category.

"Why should the majority of RV'ers be any different than the majority of people at large?" Excellent question. In fact, they aren't any different.

So why do RV blogs detail the mundane daily errands of their "lifestyle"? Homeowners in Levittown or Gopher Prairie don't give you the gory details of cleaning leaves out of their gutters.

Implicit in these silly blogs is the conceit (and deceit) that the mighty RV "lifestyle" or "dream" is so exotic, dangerous, and glamorous that the entire world needs to know that they bought paper towels at Walmart today.

Then you find out how boring RVers are, and you are disappointed. You had an unrealistic expectation of them right from the beginning.
XXXXX said…
Excellent, Boonie.

I think that is the bigger picture. No matter what one might be looking for, in truth, we are all just plain folk.
THAT is the real reason I like your blog. Not because you RV or boondock or like vigorous exercise.
And that's what makes this discussion interesting. You are looking to pick out folk who like exercise and wish to plan their day and life accordingly but do you realize that this aspect of the way you experience life, that which you post here, would likely trump all?